so the new year is right around the corner. and as usual, i have a list of things i’d like to accomplish, never do and avoid. i absolutely did not stick to really anything from last years list of “resolutions” [who really does?] and although i’d like to have high hopes for myself of sticking to this years’- i’m at least looking at it a bit more realistically. 

you like my cosmic picture? i feel like it sums up the past year. two years. i’ve been lost in space. do doo do doo do doo doo do. 

so, what are some rezzies on my list? i know you wanna know. 

first and forefuckingmost- shitty people. mostly- shitty girls. you know the kind.. they say they’re your friend, but they gossip about you behind your back and say the most belittling and rude things to you, and at the end of their shitty, mean sentence they throw in a “i just care about you” so they can cover up their obvious bitchness? yah— i know you know the kind. fuck them. i’m done with them. [please note this also covers mean girls, homewreckers, hypocrites and flat out crazies.] 

you know what though? i was able to recognize this year that it’s my own fault. cause i accept apologies too easily, i give the benefit of the doubt too much. i CARE too much. i hate to say that’s a flaw, because i don’t really believe that to be true— but i can say with fact, that my big heart really didn’t do much but get me burnt this year. 

file that shit under LESSON LEARNED, the hard way. 

some thing i’d like to start this year for myself is yoga. if you know me, you know i am not super athletic, if at all— and that the idea of running anywhere to me, should only be in the form of an emergency. however!! the homeopathic approach to my endometriosis is kicking my ass and i need to focus on making my body a serious temple. better food, more activity, less stress. mind over matter when i say goodbye to soda. [don’t judge- some people need dates like new years to give up something.] 

and like always, my constant goal is to better myself in all areas. i’ve recently been told when i’m angry i don’t converse, i lecture. mind you, it was my dad who told me this— so i took it like it was my dad telling me. [flashback to 15 and an eye roll while thinking, yah, whatever.. ] but the point is that i’m consistently aware that i’m in constant need of repairing. always. you are too. not one of us is perfect. 

this isn’t the whole list. a lot of it is actually pretty personal, and i just have a hard time speaking about specific parts of my life so openly. i’m not hiding anything, but hurt still lingers and until it’s healed- it just can’t, won’t and doesn’t need to be spoken about. those of you who understand that— i thank you. 

what about y’all? resolutions or goals or is it all just poppycock in the end?